he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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