I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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