I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize