i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
