Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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