She is in my trunk
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize