When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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