Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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