Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
