The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
