well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
