She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
