Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
