I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize