Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
