I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
