Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
