Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
