are you still at the devil's house?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
