i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
