why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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