Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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