i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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