Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
