dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
