How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
