OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
