i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
