My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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