Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My balls are so social today.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
