i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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