I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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