do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
