Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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