You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
