i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
