Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
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My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
They took my balls.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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