new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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