My Higher Power is John Stamos
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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