a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
