...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
honey bunches of taint.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
