Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
