We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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