My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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