5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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