I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
