I wish my penis had an off switch
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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