Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
