Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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