You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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