you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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