i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I pour the whiskey from now on
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
