we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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