why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
