She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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