we have officially lost it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
