ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
