The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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