Don't you send me to vm
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
