NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
