What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
