I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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